mmm..

so this morning i woke up feeling quite satisfied. today was going to be a good day! or was it?

i slept early the night before, i woke up early the next day, i had a good breakfast, i was out of the door before 7.15, my mum was in a really good mood, i had all my homework done, there were the normal *small high school dramas* (loll), overall everything was pretty good.

that was until this morning where mr hughes told us the bad news. when everyone heard what he had to say the whole room turned silent. the only thing you could hear were a few shuffling feet from the few teachers coming into h block and the sobbing from fellow students and teachers who couldn't believe the news.

this is the third death i've heard of in a week of a person i know.. but i guess the news this morning hit me the hardest because i actually knew of the person more, like i didn't really know this guy, maybe talked to him once/twice in my life?! but when he was in school i always saw him dancing and having fun, that soul was so full of life..

why does this have to happen? especially to someone so young.. he only finished school a few months ago, he was just about to start his own life in uni or tafe or whatever he had planned.. sometimes i seriously think that god isn't fair. ):

sorry if that offends anyone, but sometimes i really wonder why does he let people go at the wrong time, why does he let people go through so much pain.. if he is so mighty why can't he do more to help.. urgh and now all christian people are going to come up to me and encourage me to go to church and find out the reasons to everything. hmm mr simovic's questioning in maths class about religion/christianity gets me thinking more.. maybe about the wrong things hah.

.. i haven't been to church in ages and nothing/noone has really inspired me to believe much right now. sorry if i upset someone with my ranting now.. ._.

anyway back to what i was saying before. even though i hardly knew this guy i cried. just the whole thought of being so young, having so many great things coming in the future and i knew that he had a lot of friends.. it is going to affect a lot of people around the school/community too. argh and i thought mr hughes announcing it on the loadspeaker was inappropriate. if i were to die (sorry that's a really bad example, i'm not going anywhere too soon guys ahaha >_O!) i would not want my death announced all over the school for the whole world to know. the teachers should've been told earlier and perhaps senior students too..?

i hated how random junior students who most probably haven't lost anyone just pretend to be upset but end up making themselves looking really stupid and ignorant? those annoying half mocking/ignorant kids.. i dno maybe it's just me =_=?! okay just shut up jade, yeah i didn't think telling the whole school was appropriate. ahh..

rest in peace herbie.

~~

hmm so berni i will try my hardest to keep blogging everyday! just for you <3

so today was our massive music lesson! it was alright except for the fact that around 2pm berni and my eyes were like slits, we were both really tired i think.

okay.. i wrote this maaaassive blog before but it seems that 3/4's of it got deleted and i was planning to sleep at 10. now it is 10.30 ):

so i'm going to go now.. hope that this will suffice for now berni!
sorry D:

goodniiiiight!