explosions

i've not been myself lately.

things that i never would've thought twice about before are pulling at my nerves, and i find that i'm upset over things that are trivial. cool, calm, collected. usually things slowly roll off of me, and i can still encounter issues and people with a smile. a big one. a grin, perhaps.

so i'm sitting here dumbfounded at my lack of patience. it is one thing i've been proud of myself for having, and yet lately it just doesn't exist.

i know that life has presented it's toughest challenges to me right now. when it's over with, that's when things will be easy going. maybe everything will even look like a small bump in the road.

what is unfortunate is that i can't even remember the last time i lacked patience and empathy. so i don't know how to genuinely get it back without it feeling sarcastic. i can make myself look at the bright side of any situation, force myself to work hard, but.

this is something i'm unfamiliar with.

argh i don’t know, maybe it's just the stress of the situation, having to face something that i guess i should get over and done with and just wondering how much the future is changing.

i'll admit it. i'm scared. i'm nervous. i'm unsure. i'm entirely out of my comfort zone.

i guess it's a part of growing up?

mmm ~_~

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on a positive note.. happy birthday chantal (: